Choices, Christianity, and Death by Skateboarding.

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Fall is the best time of the year ❤

BLEH! What a past couple of weeks it has been. I mean not only am I in a foreign country, where I barely know how to get by, (but am learning!), I tore my ACL completely while skateboarding and have to get surgery. Have you ever heard the saying, “one step forward, two steps back” ? Well that is how I feel. I make a move in the right direction only to go back, but one step forward IS one step forward, no matter how many steps back. I also have been trying to get rid of an infection since I got here, and needless to say it has not been fun, but as one friend has told me many times over, attitude is everything!

I’ve been staying positive, well trying…

Of course, I have a few bad days, don’t we all? But I choose not to let this get me down. When you believe you’re here for a reason, you really have to hold onto that regardless of what happens to you. You have to choose to keep pushing because it is all we can do. And why go by the days hating life when you can choose not to? I’m not saying there aren’t things like depression and anxiety because I’ve been there, but everything is a choice. Today I’m choosing to stay positive regardless of my health conditions, but do please pray for me, this is no way fun!

So, I haven’t really mentioned it a whole lot in my blog, but I am a Christian, and it is what I hold most important in my life. I’ve certainly avoided it because today, I believe that people are more prone to be prejudice against someone who believes in God. I’ve seen it multiple times, but I don’t think that these instances should make me feel afraid to share with others about a big part of who I am as a person.

 So, what does it mean to be a Christian?

Being a Christian does not mean I judge people for not believing in God or that I hate gays, or think that I am better than anyone. In fact, this has nothing to do with being a Christian. Being a Christian is believing in the Bible and that Jesus died for everyone’s sins. It is living the truth of his death and resurrection and applying his word to my life and trying to live a life like Jesus did. Jesus didn’t hate anyone, he loved everyone. He hung out with the gangsters, liars, murderers, the people who we today, stay far away from at all costs. He even preached against religion, saying the Pharisees were hypocrites.

It does make me sad that I haven’t been more open about this because I was afraid of what people would think. Lately though, I have been caring less and less of what people think of me. People are not going to like me whether I believe in God, or whether it be the stupid fact for the way I dress. Basically, it doesn’t matter what people think besides you. If you love you, then who cares. Not do whatever you want and burn down the house who cares, but don’t let others affect the way you live your life! I always thought that I had a “don’t care” attitude, but I wasn’t really being real with myself. When you sit down and ask yourself, How do I really, truly feel about this? it will surprise you when you actually process what you’re thinking.

And the real, true people who love you, will love you for you.

I also know I have said in so many of my posts that you guys read, TO LOVE YOURSELF! I know I have preached this over and over, but it is SO important.  I hope you know that I am still on that journey and each day I grow closer and closer to that reality of really loving myself and not caring what others think of me. I am thankful that I begun this journey in December of 2016, but I still have a long way to go, but I am getting closer and closer to it each day! I hope you know that just because I say it doesn’t mean it is an easy thing to do. It is a process, so please take my advice again, and truly learn yourself before you let someone else know you before you have a clue where to even begin. It’s worth it to you and those around you, I promise!

Like I said before, and what I’m sure you’ve heard a million times in your life, is that everything is a choice. Sometimes it sucks to think about it, but if you can sit down and think, I have the choice to doing something positive or do something negative and really think about it, then I think you would be surprised with yourself. Besides when you choose to be negative, you don’t only hurt yourself, but you hurt those around you as well.

I’ve been reading this AMAZING book lately and what makes me even more excited, is the fact that I am getting closer to starting a business of my very own. Each idea and bad idea that I have is shaping what I want to do or don’t want to do. The book is #GIRLBOSS by Sophia Amoruso of NastyGal. I’ll drop the link down here. I would recommend reading it even if you don’t intend to start a business of your own because there is so much great life advice that you can get from the book and apply to your everyday life.

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Here is the link to buy:  #GIRLBOSS

I almost wrote a few blogs over the past couple of weeks, but none of them felt right and I chose not to submit the very angry post I wrote out last week. I figured it would probably be best I didn’t share a post when I was having a shit day, and I’m really glad I didn’t! Although, it is important to share that I do have those bad and angry feelings because I am only human after all.  As usual thanks for reading <3. Much love and I look forward to sharing with you soon the progress of my business that I’m going to be starting in the next few weeks. Here goes nothing!

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.” –Lao Tzu

 

Simple & Chaotic.

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To new beginnings and new adventures..

As I sit here in Chiang Mai, Thailand, I’m thinking about how crazy and chaotic life has been for the past few months.

First of all, I’m in Thailand, what??!! That was not the plan….at all. It’s been a while since I last posted and I apologize, mostly to myself, because I was so happy to start this blog ANDDDD did not post a thing all summer, so I’m sorry! If I had a dollar for every time I thought about posting, I’d be rich! Well, I would probably have at least 100$. I took a full course load of school work, worked a shitty job, got fired (for terrible reasons *coughs*), and have been traveling practically every other week.

Anyways…

So, yes, I am in Thailand and for the next 8 months, too. Eight friggin’ months ya’ll! A part of me is freaking out on the inside still, but at the same time I know that by the end of these 8 months I am going to be a changed person and this was the step I needed to take to grow as a person and make the dreams I have for my life, come true. It was not easy, but I prayed a lot and felt like this was the direction I needed to go in.

Secondly, I am supposed to be in Oregon finishing my degree! I have one year left in school and post-poning these plans was really hard for me because I SO badly just want to be done with school and my degree. So, my time off from school has turned from 6 months off to a year and a half off.

At the same time, this is exactly what I needed.

So often as westerners, we just want to get things done. From one thing to the next, we have a need to accomplish what we are supposed to do in the eyes of our parents, family, friends, and peers. BUT, what I, myself realized is that the stuff I want to accomplish and what other people want me to accomplish will always be different and I must do what I feel like I need to do for myself to feel good about who I am.

This past year I have been selfish.

Since December, I decided I would only put me first. This is the best decision I have ever made. I have learned so much about myself and I am still learning, I am still being selfish, but not nearly as much as I needed to be in the beginning. Coming from the lowest point in my life, an emotionally abusive relationship, lost friendships, in-and-out of the hospital, anxiety, depression…the list goes on. I knew I needed to make this decision, there was no other choice for me. I have heard from family and friends that I have been extremely selfish on occasion, but I have decided to not feel bad about it. Why?

Because I cannot feel bad for letting myself to heal.

Well, You might be wondering what I am doing in Thailand. I am doing a sort of business building/internship learning experience. I will be starting my own business while I’m out here and learning the ins and outs of how to do that along with being mentored. If your familiar with YWAM, I have partnered with them in my journey out here. I have been here in Chiang Mai for a week! It is absolutely incredible, guys. This place is so beautiful and I am so grateful for the opportunity to be out here.

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I found a very zen Ronald McDonald, so of course I had to pose with him 😉

If you kept up with my other posts, I explained I was going to a lot of different states/countries this summer. Unfortunately, only a few of those plans worked out, but if you guys want to follow my travels, definitely follow me on instagram: Hazelosborn_ 🙂 I’m going to have a lot of time to focus on myself while I’m out here so I will definitely be posting more and I definitely also want to share with you guys the way I have been doing life.

Things are going to be much simpler, thank God!

This is more of a, jeeze, where have you been post?!?!?! So I will definitely be posting more focused and themed posts. This is just me getting back into this, I mean I did pay for it…right?

I’ll exit with a few quotes…

“It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to, has power over you, if you allow it.”

“You can’t rewrite your past, but you can grab a clean sheet of paper and write your future.”

“Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen”

<3<3<3

 

Who are you wearing?

 

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Steve Jobs through the years

Clothes, there an identity.

Today, I’m a surfer with my surfboard and wetsuit and tomorrow, I’m a powerful woman boss in a high-end tailored suit.

Okay not really, but do you get where I’m going with this? That what we wear defines us, whether we like it or not. Have you ever heard the saying, “you are what you eat!” Well honestly you are what you wear, an image that we project as humans, our look. “But Haley, it’s what’s on the inside that counts!” Yeah we’ve all heard that before, and by far it is immensely true, but….

But looks matter. And don’t think I’m being shallow for saying this because I’m talking about the clothes on your back, the decision you make everyday on how you display yourself to the world. Because to me, what you wear is how you present yourself and how you want others to see you and it’s also about feeling good. Yes, beauty does only go skin deep and you may well think I’m being shallow by now, but fashion is an art. When I wake up, I take pride in knowing that I can wear whatever I want to wear, that I can be whoever I want to be. “Girl you think its Halloween 24/7?” No, no I don’t, but get this.

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Cute, huh? I think that was 5th or 6th grade and notice how I’m totally wearing a men’s suit.

From the longest time I can remember, I’ve always loved dressing up. I loved putting on fancy dresses and tutu’s, but then I would find my brothers clothes and loved wearing their button-up shirts and sports jerseys.

Complete opposite sides of the spectrum, right?

This is how I create myself, though, through fashion; through diverse styles of different feelings, emotions, and characters. I can feel sad and wear all black or I can be happy and wear bright colors, but fashion isn’t always about how one feels. I can feel like total shit one day, but dress extremely boujee because I don’t want others to know I’m having a bad day. In this sense it is covering up my emotions and displaying a level of creativity.

Now fashion is also looking a certain way, I can be someone else, I can be who I choose to dress as. I want to dress tomboy and edgy one day and the next I might dress in a power suit and Jimmy Choo heels, while another day I dress like a total tree huggin’ hippie. I’m not saying you can just magically be someone else, but you kind of can. I can be the same person on the inside, same old Haley, but on the outside I create a whole new look.

That’s the magic of fashion. You have your core identity, but you can choose another identity that day, and the down right truth is, we do it all the time.There are so many different styles and ways to dress it’s absurd, but that’s what we do as humans, we put a label to someone for what they wear because it says something about who you are. We choose to be athletes, business savvy, workers, music-lovers, protestors, goths, preps, punks, rockers, hippies, and so on. I mean think about halloween where we literally pretend to be someone else for a day or actors and actresses.

So next time you throw on some clothes, do you ever stop to think, what does this say about me? Does it say, your a skater? You’re part of a business or organization? That you’re a star-wars lover, a trend-setter, a boy, a girl, a scientist, a mom? It doesn’t have to go that deep because if your confident and think, “I just feel good about myself” than that’s what matters.

But seriously, I want to make you think. What do you think what you wear says about who you are as a human being? Does it mean something to you? Or does it not mean anything?

 

 

 

First blog post EVER. What’s gooood?!

Hey guys! So happy to be sharing this blog with you all. I’ve started this blog to share with my family, friends, acquaintances, coworkers, strangers, aliens, YOU, etc. on my journey through life.  So if you’re reading this I’m glad you’re riding along for a behind the scenes journey with me. I feel like there are so many blogs out there or just social media in general that paints a picture of what life should be like, so here is my blog, no bullshit, no strings attached, just a human being with some cool stuff to say and share.  This post is just a little intro of what I’ve been up to recently, some future plans and of course some of my random thoughts!

You with me so far? Great. 🙂 If you know me, you know I am from Nebraska! We have corn, college football, and friendly folks, that’s about it…..You ever see that movie Children of the Corn? Where they drive across the Midwest and find a dead body right outside the cornfield? That’s not Nebraska so it’s okay, you don’t need to worry about that if you ever come to visit. It is a classic 1980’s movie, though.  I am living in the great state of Nebraska until September, and then I will be heading back to Oregon for my last year of college. In between now and September I am headed to Cuba!! I am super stoked and can’t wait to share the experience and pictures with all of you. I just read the Newspaper yesterday, actually, with an article on Cuba, saying that Cuba will not be the same as it looks now in a few years from now. Which means if you have the chance, definitely go while there are still snazzy 1950’s cars polluting the air and of course for all of the culture and history too.

I just recently got back from traveling to Italy, Germany, and Switzerland. So here’s a little bit of background. Out of an emotional wreck of myself, after being in an unhealthy relationship for 6 months, I decided I needed to take 6 months break from University to clear my head and get back on track. So I immediately came to the conclusion that I HAD to leave the country. I took out the 3,200$ I had saved up since I was about 12 and I wasn’t planning on telling any of my family members I was leaving and that was that. Great idea, right? Well luckily for me, I had this unbelievable opportunity that came up; and after talking to a few people, I agreed that maybe it was best to tell my parents…but things worked out just the way they were supposed to. This opportunity to do a class abroad called ‘free-sports and youth culture’ came up through an organization called YWAM and was the perfect chance for my escape. Through it, I have learned more than I could have asked for and I feel absolutely blessed to have had the opportunity.  Sometimes you need to do something big to heal yourself, and I find that healing through traveling.  I stayed in Italy for 5 weeks and went on tour through Germany and Switzerland the other two weeks. Let me just say, Europe is a phenomenal place to be. Each country has its own essence, language(s), and beauty.  I met amazing people and really, really, had the chance to figure out a few things for myself. I learned a ton about skateboarding and started skateboarding myself! It’s super fun even though I still fall on my ass all the time. I started an awesome project that is the beginning of my business endeavors. It’s a cool document that is my go-to plan for what I want to do in fashion. (That’s a whole different story, you’ll hear it soon enough, trust me.)

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Here is the group of amazing people I went on tour with! We are all different nationalities. From left to right: German, American, Romansh, Australian, and Welsh

Note: this picture was taken at 5 a.m. an ungodly hour and why our eyes are all red-eyed.

I hope I’m not just completley boring you too much now on my first post, but I’m really excited about this blog and hope you guys can get something out of reading my posts. Whether it’s a little something about traveling, a little encouragement,  something you can relate to, or you just like to read it, I’m super stoked on that. Over time, I’m sure my blog will change and grow and might look totally different than it does now, so just forewarning you ahead of time. A little change never hurt nobody right? Because through change we grow fortunately, and sometimes, unfortunately. Well I hope everyone has an amazing week! Feel free to comment, e-mail, or catch me on social media here’s the link –> Contact Me. Don’t forget to check out my About me if you want to know more about who I am. And now, as for how to end with a bang? Well, that’s another blog post for another time.

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Tour life 🙂