Choices, Christianity, and Death by Skateboarding.

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Fall is the best time of the year ❤

BLEH! What a past couple of weeks it has been. I mean not only am I in a foreign country, where I barely know how to get by, (but am learning!), I tore my ACL completely while skateboarding and have to get surgery. Have you ever heard the saying, “one step forward, two steps back” ? Well that is how I feel. I make a move in the right direction only to go back, but one step forward IS one step forward, no matter how many steps back. I also have been trying to get rid of an infection since I got here, and needless to say it has not been fun, but as one friend has told me many times over, attitude is everything!

I’ve been staying positive, well trying…

Of course, I have a few bad days, don’t we all? But I choose not to let this get me down. When you believe you’re here for a reason, you really have to hold onto that regardless of what happens to you. You have to choose to keep pushing because it is all we can do. And why go by the days hating life when you can choose not to? I’m not saying there aren’t things like depression and anxiety because I’ve been there, but everything is a choice. Today I’m choosing to stay positive regardless of my health conditions, but do please pray for me, this is no way fun!

So, I haven’t really mentioned it a whole lot in my blog, but I am a Christian, and it is what I hold most important in my life. I’ve certainly avoided it because today, I believe that people are more prone to be prejudice against someone who believes in God. I’ve seen it multiple times, but I don’t think that these instances should make me feel afraid to share with others about a big part of who I am as a person.

 So, what does it mean to be a Christian?

Being a Christian does not mean I judge people for not believing in God or that I hate gays, or think that I am better than anyone. In fact, this has nothing to do with being a Christian. Being a Christian is believing in the Bible and that Jesus died for everyone’s sins. It is living the truth of his death and resurrection and applying his word to my life and trying to live a life like Jesus did. Jesus didn’t hate anyone, he loved everyone. He hung out with the gangsters, liars, murderers, the people who we today, stay far away from at all costs. He even preached against religion, saying the Pharisees were hypocrites.

It does make me sad that I haven’t been more open about this because I was afraid of what people would think. Lately though, I have been caring less and less of what people think of me. People are not going to like me whether I believe in God, or whether it be the stupid fact for the way I dress. Basically, it doesn’t matter what people think besides you. If you love you, then who cares. Not do whatever you want and burn down the house who cares, but don’t let others affect the way you live your life! I always thought that I had a “don’t care” attitude, but I wasn’t really being real with myself. When you sit down and ask yourself, How do I really, truly feel about this? it will surprise you when you actually process what you’re thinking.

And the real, true people who love you, will love you for you.

I also know I have said in so many of my posts that you guys read, TO LOVE YOURSELF! I know I have preached this over and over, but it is SO important.  I hope you know that I am still on that journey and each day I grow closer and closer to that reality of really loving myself and not caring what others think of me. I am thankful that I begun this journey in December of 2016, but I still have a long way to go, but I am getting closer and closer to it each day! I hope you know that just because I say it doesn’t mean it is an easy thing to do. It is a process, so please take my advice again, and truly learn yourself before you let someone else know you before you have a clue where to even begin. It’s worth it to you and those around you, I promise!

Like I said before, and what I’m sure you’ve heard a million times in your life, is that everything is a choice. Sometimes it sucks to think about it, but if you can sit down and think, I have the choice to doing something positive or do something negative and really think about it, then I think you would be surprised with yourself. Besides when you choose to be negative, you don’t only hurt yourself, but you hurt those around you as well.

I’ve been reading this AMAZING book lately and what makes me even more excited, is the fact that I am getting closer to starting a business of my very own. Each idea and bad idea that I have is shaping what I want to do or don’t want to do. The book is #GIRLBOSS by Sophia Amoruso of NastyGal. I’ll drop the link down here. I would recommend reading it even if you don’t intend to start a business of your own because there is so much great life advice that you can get from the book and apply to your everyday life.

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Here is the link to buy:  #GIRLBOSS

I almost wrote a few blogs over the past couple of weeks, but none of them felt right and I chose not to submit the very angry post I wrote out last week. I figured it would probably be best I didn’t share a post when I was having a shit day, and I’m really glad I didn’t! Although, it is important to share that I do have those bad and angry feelings because I am only human after all.  As usual thanks for reading <3. Much love and I look forward to sharing with you soon the progress of my business that I’m going to be starting in the next few weeks. Here goes nothing!

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.” –Lao Tzu

 

43rd, androgyny, crying, revolution.

fullsizeoutput_1f99So here I am, driving through the country of this town Lincoln, Nebraska that sometimes feels like it has four walls that are crashing down on me. Nothing felt right this particular morning, or for the past 4 weeks to be exact. So I just got in my car and started driving, and crying, a lot. It was a beautiful day, but my mind felt dark, gloomy, and full of thunderstorms. I decide to pull into Pioneers Park, thinking that being in nature would somehow calm me down, but I’m too nervous to get out of the car. I don’t want others to see my fragile, broken self alone and crying, so I sit in my car pleading with myself. I’m having a realllly bad day. I need to talk to someone to tell them how I’ve been feeling since I got back from Europe exactly a month ago.

Of course my mom is always there to listen.

I tell her how depressed I’ve been for this whole month, why I haven’t been myself and so grumpy. Maybe you’re thinking, “dude, you just went to Europe, get a grip!” Yeah, well I know, but sometimes change is really cool, but sometimes it totally sucks. This whole month I just could not find a reason why things were so wrong. I was looking forward to starting so many new projects and finishing some old ones,  but here I was just going through the motions. So after a month, I completely lost it and couldn’t deal with being so down anymore and somehow, I started to shake myself out of this little dark hole I was in.

Ever hear of reverse-culture shock? If you ever go abroad for awhile I suggest you look it up, because it’s not fun. Things felt kinda perfect in Italy and then I came home and things felt, I don’t know, kinda unperfect. It sucks to be feeling alone, like no one’s relating with how you’re feeling and you just want someone to hear you out. If you don’t have someone like that in your life, I’d recommend a person who will listen and hug you and get ice cream with you. That person is my mom. I couldn’t be more grateful for her, she’s there when no one else is.

Needless to say, I’ve been doing a lot better.

Okay, so maybe you’re wondering what The43rdKind means, or maybe you’re not. And maybe you’re wondering why the hell I just told you I had an emotional breakdown. Well, either way I’m going to tell you what it means and well, emotions are just a part of everything and coming home has been hard for me.

When I was in Europe I made a business plan for what I want to do, and I’m calling my business ‘The43rdKind’. It’s going to be a non-gender/unisex clothing line. And I’m pretty sure It’s going to be a skateboarding brand (still in the works y’know). So one of my closest friends I’ve known since I was 5 told me when we were young that 143 means I love you. That always stuck with me.

Those 3 little words that mean so much to everyone, and to me.

Do you ever see a number everywhere? Or a sign, a word, something, literally everywhere? Well I always see the number 43. And to me it means love you and also adds up to another favorite number of mine, 7. Well, The43rdKind is suppose to be an androgynous loving human kind brand and I want to promote love through the clothes I design and that it doesn’t matter who you are because we love you no matter if you are gay, lesbian, non-binary, binary, transexual, gender-neutral, male, she, queer, they, and so on, everyone. Because we’re all searching for love one way or another, right? That’s why I want to do unisex fashion, because in fashion there’s only male fashion and female fashion, so why can’t there be another section? There are quite a few brands out there doing unisex/non-gender clothing right now, but it’s still not mainstream. So, let’s make it mainstream people.

Let’s revolutionize the world of fashion. 

 

 

First blog post EVER. What’s gooood?!

Hey guys! So happy to be sharing this blog with you all. I’ve started this blog to share with my family, friends, acquaintances, coworkers, strangers, aliens, YOU, etc. on my journey through life.  So if you’re reading this I’m glad you’re riding along for a behind the scenes journey with me. I feel like there are so many blogs out there or just social media in general that paints a picture of what life should be like, so here is my blog, no bullshit, no strings attached, just a human being with some cool stuff to say and share.  This post is just a little intro of what I’ve been up to recently, some future plans and of course some of my random thoughts!

You with me so far? Great. 🙂 If you know me, you know I am from Nebraska! We have corn, college football, and friendly folks, that’s about it…..You ever see that movie Children of the Corn? Where they drive across the Midwest and find a dead body right outside the cornfield? That’s not Nebraska so it’s okay, you don’t need to worry about that if you ever come to visit. It is a classic 1980’s movie, though.  I am living in the great state of Nebraska until September, and then I will be heading back to Oregon for my last year of college. In between now and September I am headed to Cuba!! I am super stoked and can’t wait to share the experience and pictures with all of you. I just read the Newspaper yesterday, actually, with an article on Cuba, saying that Cuba will not be the same as it looks now in a few years from now. Which means if you have the chance, definitely go while there are still snazzy 1950’s cars polluting the air and of course for all of the culture and history too.

I just recently got back from traveling to Italy, Germany, and Switzerland. So here’s a little bit of background. Out of an emotional wreck of myself, after being in an unhealthy relationship for 6 months, I decided I needed to take 6 months break from University to clear my head and get back on track. So I immediately came to the conclusion that I HAD to leave the country. I took out the 3,200$ I had saved up since I was about 12 and I wasn’t planning on telling any of my family members I was leaving and that was that. Great idea, right? Well luckily for me, I had this unbelievable opportunity that came up; and after talking to a few people, I agreed that maybe it was best to tell my parents…but things worked out just the way they were supposed to. This opportunity to do a class abroad called ‘free-sports and youth culture’ came up through an organization called YWAM and was the perfect chance for my escape. Through it, I have learned more than I could have asked for and I feel absolutely blessed to have had the opportunity.  Sometimes you need to do something big to heal yourself, and I find that healing through traveling.  I stayed in Italy for 5 weeks and went on tour through Germany and Switzerland the other two weeks. Let me just say, Europe is a phenomenal place to be. Each country has its own essence, language(s), and beauty.  I met amazing people and really, really, had the chance to figure out a few things for myself. I learned a ton about skateboarding and started skateboarding myself! It’s super fun even though I still fall on my ass all the time. I started an awesome project that is the beginning of my business endeavors. It’s a cool document that is my go-to plan for what I want to do in fashion. (That’s a whole different story, you’ll hear it soon enough, trust me.)

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Here is the group of amazing people I went on tour with! We are all different nationalities. From left to right: German, American, Romansh, Australian, and Welsh

Note: this picture was taken at 5 a.m. an ungodly hour and why our eyes are all red-eyed.

I hope I’m not just completley boring you too much now on my first post, but I’m really excited about this blog and hope you guys can get something out of reading my posts. Whether it’s a little something about traveling, a little encouragement,  something you can relate to, or you just like to read it, I’m super stoked on that. Over time, I’m sure my blog will change and grow and might look totally different than it does now, so just forewarning you ahead of time. A little change never hurt nobody right? Because through change we grow fortunately, and sometimes, unfortunately. Well I hope everyone has an amazing week! Feel free to comment, e-mail, or catch me on social media here’s the link –> Contact Me. Don’t forget to check out my About me if you want to know more about who I am. And now, as for how to end with a bang? Well, that’s another blog post for another time.

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Tour life 🙂