So here I am, driving through the country of this town Lincoln, Nebraska that sometimes feels like it has four walls that are crashing down on me. Nothing felt right this particular morning, or for the past 4 weeks to be exact. So I just got in my car and started driving, and crying, a lot. It was a beautiful day, but my mind felt dark, gloomy, and full of thunderstorms. I decide to pull into Pioneers Park, thinking that being in nature would somehow calm me down, but I’m too nervous to get out of the car. I don’t want others to see my fragile, broken self alone and crying, so I sit in my car pleading with myself. I’m having a realllly bad day. I need to talk to someone to tell them how I’ve been feeling since I got back from Europe exactly a month ago.
Of course my mom is always there to listen.
I tell her how depressed I’ve been for this whole month, why I haven’t been myself and so grumpy. Maybe you’re thinking, “dude, you just went to Europe, get a grip!” Yeah, well I know, but sometimes change is really cool, but sometimes it totally sucks. This whole month I just could not find a reason why things were so wrong. I was looking forward to starting so many new projects and finishing some old ones, but here I was just going through the motions. So after a month, I completely lost it and couldn’t deal with being so down anymore and somehow, I started to shake myself out of this little dark hole I was in.
Ever hear of reverse-culture shock? If you ever go abroad for awhile I suggest you look it up, because it’s not fun. Things felt kinda perfect in Italy and then I came home and things felt, I don’t know, kinda unperfect. It sucks to be feeling alone, like no one’s relating with how you’re feeling and you just want someone to hear you out. If you don’t have someone like that in your life, I’d recommend a person who will listen and hug you and get ice cream with you. That person is my mom. I couldn’t be more grateful for her, she’s there when no one else is.
Needless to say, I’ve been doing a lot better.
Okay, so maybe you’re wondering what The43rdKind means, or maybe you’re not. And maybe you’re wondering why the hell I just told you I had an emotional breakdown. Well, either way I’m going to tell you what it means and well, emotions are just a part of everything and coming home has been hard for me.
When I was in Europe I made a business plan for what I want to do, and I’m calling my business ‘The43rdKind’. It’s going to be a non-gender/unisex clothing line. And I’m pretty sure It’s going to be a skateboarding brand (still in the works y’know). So one of my closest friends I’ve known since I was 5 told me when we were young that 143 means I love you. That always stuck with me.
Those 3 little words that mean so much to everyone, and to me.
Do you ever see a number everywhere? Or a sign, a word, something, literally everywhere? Well I always see the number 43. And to me it means love you and also adds up to another favorite number of mine, 7. Well, The43rdKind is suppose to be an androgynous loving human kind brand and I want to promote love through the clothes I design and that it doesn’t matter who you are because we love you no matter if you are gay, lesbian, non-binary, binary, transexual, gender-neutral, male, she, queer, they, and so on, everyone. Because we’re all searching for love one way or another, right? That’s why I want to do unisex fashion, because in fashion there’s only male fashion and female fashion, so why can’t there be another section? There are quite a few brands out there doing unisex/non-gender clothing right now, but it’s still not mainstream. So, let’s make it mainstream people.
Let’s revolutionize the world of fashion.